dnelson0985
May 1st, 2010

Forever Young: Websay

    This web essay is a sub-creation of my digital identity.  This essay details my life as a stay at home mother raising two children who are close in age.  My son Josh, 3, and my daughter Erika, 2.  Life isn’t just about working till you croak or about money even–but about family. My children keep me forever young with their energy, their vibrant spirits and their love which endures and has helped me through tough times. They are my happy thoughts.  I am extremely, confident in my children and I know that they will do well.   In order to have such an environment it is important to love and nurture them.  This is a large part of my life as a mother and is very important to me.  The outline of mother hood from pregnancy to birth is vast and exciting and the raising your children and making their childhood 10x’s better than yours is the fun part! Going the extra mile I’d like to dedicate this web essay to my husband Jon, my kids Josh and Erika.  Mommie loves you guys!

      BONDING WITH BABY

    A mothers bond with her baby is one of the most important things in a child’s development. The bond between infant and mother is critical towards to emotional, cognitive, and psychical development of the new born child. “The attachment bond is the deep, lasting relationship that develops between you and your baby in his or her first few years of life. The intense interplay of bonding and attachment draws the two of you together and creates a unique relationship that shapes your baby’s development” (Segal, 2009.) It is often a mistake of parents who have a babyto mistake a secure bond for love. A secure bond and love are two separate things. The bond a child feels with his/her mother is based on the understanding between the two that “she” = the mother is the babies primary care taker. By creating a secure bond with your baby you are teaching them to look to you for their needs, as well as you are teaching them to trust you thus making the learning process in the future easier.

    When I was in the hospital with my first baby, my son Joshua, I was made to go through a mini – mommie boot camp. This boot camp was required by the Mary Washington Hospitals prenatal and post-labor care division.

    The goal of these classes was to get me prepared to be a mommie. The classes consisted of how to change a diaper, how to feed your baby whether breast feeding or bottle feeding (I bottle fed), how to install a car seat, what signs to recognize if your babies sick. It pretty much covered all the bases (so, I thought). I did not know, neither did it really dawn on me as to what I was truly in for until I was out of that hospital, in my bed at home, with my sleep being interrupted by Joshua’s cry and I realized OMG! is this how it’s going to be everyday! I admit I was spoiled when I came home. My mother had Joshua for the first two nights because I was sick with a fever and I had a chance to rest up an extra two days in addition to the five I spent in the hospital. Usually, a mother only is in the hospital for three days, after a normal vaginal delivery. I however had an emergency C-Section. A C-section, short word term for a Cesarean section is “.. sometimes also written as c/s. This type of birth is done by a surgical incision in the abdomen and uterus to allow a baby or babies to be born safely when a vaginal birth is not the safest route. The current cesarean rate in the United States is over 30%” (Robine Weese LCCE, 2009, http://pregnancy.about.com/od/cesareansection/p/cesarean.htm). It involves the following steps as pictured below:

    The C-section procedure in which I had done, was not a planned procedure. My son was scheduled to be born on December 23, 2006 however, he did not come on that day. Two weeks later, he still had not come. So, I went to an appointment to be examined on the ultra sound to make sure he had enough amniotic fluid. I was told then that it appeared that my fluid was low and that they would have to induce labor. The induction of labor involves the intravenous administration of drugs through an IV into my (the mothers) bloodstream to start contractions and help my cervix dilate. During the course of my labor (which had to be induced) meaning they had to induce contractions because my cervix was not dialting like it is supposed to during the labor process. It was a scary experience, and the drugs they gave me (I can’t recall the name) made me cramp like HELL! It was so painful and to top it off I would experience a for more share of problems that night that would scare me for life!

      The Birth

    After a long night of cramping and pain from out of this world. I was truly beat. I remember asking Jon for some water and I remember not sleeping that much due to the pain. I honestly, felt like a crew memeber aboard Sygorney Weaver’s space ship from the 1980′s horror/Scifi flick Aliens….the pain was so intense I felt like something was about to rip through my stomach as any minute!

    I know right TMI! But I tell you to all those young girls and young women out there having a child is no joke, or task to take lightly. During the emergency C-section, I was told that I would need an epidural or spinal block for the operation. An epidural is by far the first drug of choice for women during childbirth. On average, epidural anesthesia is the most popular means for pain relief during labor. In fact, more women ask for an epidural by name than any other method of pain relief. Over 50% of women giving birth at hospitals use epidural anesthesia” ( For me, the scariest part of getting medication was the epidural. Although it is the drug of choice amongst women during child birth, I wish that I would’ve had the chance to go through natural child birth. (I know all the girls reading this are screaming in their heads: WOMAN, YOU ARE CRAZY!?!?)

      IT’S A BOY!

    The climax of my emergency C-Section as well as the reality of going into surgery AWAKE. It truly hit me when I was lying in that cold operating room. In addition, as if I was not already scared to death, they laid me on my back and put a sheet over so I couldn’t see anything. I had my mother by my side because my hubby Jon can’t stand the sight of blood. If he see’s even a drop he faints. So, my mom had to go in his place. Which was fine. It was even ironic in the sense that I had my mother the one who birthed me watching me give birth to her first grandson. Overall, the excitement was at an all time high. The feeling you have when your having a C-Section is really no pain. You do feel sensations of tugging and pulling. It feels tingly like when your foots asleep but in your stomach. The pins and needles kind of feeling. Well, after what seemed to be a while, because I fell asleep on the operating table. I will kind of admit (and this is just between me and you) that , the delivery was a walk in the park. I kind of feel defeated like I didn’t experience the whole birthing process since I had a Cesarean, like I had cheated mother nature in some shape or form. However, after what appeared to be a while the doctor announced it’s a boy!

    I was so happy! Although I did not show it because I was drugged out of my mind. I was saying wow he is finally here. You know I am not a church going woman nor am I that religious but I do believe in God the father, maker, and his plans for me. And I know that, that plan included my son Joshua. Even now, I still believe the most gracious thing you can do is give life to another human being.

    Conditions and Remedies for a Young Stressed Mother

    The idea after having one child is not to have anymore until about two years later if you so choose to try to get pregnant again. However, sometimes LIFE does not always give you lemons to make lemonade. About three months later I was pregnant with my second child, my daughter Erika. I was stressed to the core around this time. Being a young family my husband and myself did not have the budget at the time to deal with another child. I was stressed because Josh was only three months. In this situation, it is very important for a young mother with a lot on her plate like me to be aware of her stress levels.

    It is very common for women to experience depression during and after up to the first year of pregnancy. The causes of perinatal depression is believed to be one of the most common complications during and after pregnancy. Often, the depression is not recognized or treated, because some normal pregnancy changes cause similar symptoms and are happening at the same time. Tiredness, problems sleeping, stronger emotional reactions, and changes in body weight may occur during pregnancy and after pregnancy. But these symptoms may also be signs of a more serious depression.” (http://www.medicinenet.com/postpartum_depression/article.htm#tocc). It is important to take care of yourself because if your weak and depressed then you can’t take care of your baby. If you won’t take care of them, who will?

    The Wonder Years

    So after the birth of my son Joshua, then came Erika. It is not uncommon for a woman to be super fertile after she has had a baby. Although, it was not in my husband and I’s plan to have one so soon. It happened! And the process started all over again! My daughter’s birth was kind of a blurbed because I had just celebrated the birth of a child ten months prior so all of the feelings were still fresh in my mind. I felt like an elephant, who carries her young for eighteen months before giving birth! EIGHTEEN MONTHS!

    My children especially, Joshua he is always laughing and smiling. He is constantly joking around (sometimes a little too much and he doesn’t want to listen. My Erika, is my little moderator. She keeps her brother in line, even though she is about one year younger than he is. I can see that in the future she will have to save her brother form the fire, in one situation or another. This fact does not make me worried, in fact it makes me happy to know that I have two AWESOME kids whom are close in age and who will look out for each other. The love I have for my children is so overflowing in abundance. They may make me frustrated sometimes. But I always win in the end because I’m the mom. Just like in this video.

    In the end however, the birth of my children was truly worth it. They are my heart and joy and they have taught me so much about the world, which I thought I had forgot. They showed me what it was to enjoy the smaller things in life as well as to celebrate holidays which I thought and still do think some extent cliche and trivial. The holidays like Christmas, Easter, Halloween, and Thanksgiving now have more meaning! Having a child gives you a chance to become a child again yourself.